Beyond the taboo: Why conversations about death matter

Death, dying, and bereavement affect us all, but for many, openly talking about these topics is difficult, and sometimes it’s not easy to know where to start.

Here, some of the counselling team at Hospice in the Weald share their thoughts about death and dying, how we can aim to beat the taboo and stigma of talking about it, and how they support patients and their loved ones in navigating conversations around this topic…

Talking openly helps break stigma

“To break the stigma around talking about death and dying is to do exactly that. It’s to have those conversations with loved ones so they understand what we want and what we need,” says Karen, Lead Counsellor.

“Counselling helps to deal with the fear around death and dying by supporting people in being able to verbalise how they’re feeling. There’s so much angst and worry about talking about death and dying because it’s not something that we do. Having counselling and that safe space to open up gives both patients and their loved ones the opportunity to really express their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sometimes, things they’ve never been able to say out loud before.

“Some people think it’s better not to speak about how they’re feeling, they think that if they push down their thoughts and emotions, that they will go away. The misconception around grief is that we really shouldn’t talk about it and just keep it all inside. But it’s much better to be able to talk about how we’re feeling and to have that calm, safe space to do so and to work through the emotions and how we feel at a given time,” Karen explains.

Taking the time to listen

Sarah, Volunteer Counsellor, adds: “In our culture, one of the misconceptions can really be about a ‘keep calm and carry on’ attitude to our responses to death and dying and avoiding talking about it. But perhaps talking would be the easier, better way, possibly even braver way to deal with death and dying.

“As well as talking, it’s about making sure that we really listen to each other’s experiences, and sometimes that’s about hearing what isn’t said. Beating stigma around death and dying is also about being brave enough to know that we can cope emotionally if people are honest about how they’re really feeling. It’s about telling our stories and experiences,” Sarah shares.

Ran, Volunteer Counsellor, continues: “People have a lot of fear around death and dying and often come to us with the fear of the unknown, of how to deal with things. A big part of helping them is by normalising their feelings and letting them know that they’re not alone.

There is no right way to grieve

“People supported by the counselling team are often not able to talk to anyone in their daily lives or they don’t feel like they can. They feel they need to be strong, so it’s important to give them a safe space where they can just talk out their feelings and fears around death and dying. It can be a release for them.

“Often people will come in and say: ‘Am I doing this right?’ or ‘I don’t know why I’m not coping.’ It’s about making them understand that there is no right way of grieving. Whatever they’re doing is right for them,” Ran concludes.

By opening up conversations around death and dying, we can begin to dismantle the fear and stigma that so often surround it. Whether through counselling or simply talking and listening more openly with those around us, creating space for honesty allows people to feel seen, heard, and supported. There is no single way to grieve and no perfect way to navigate death and dying, but by speaking more freely, we can ensure that no one has to face this inevitable part of life alone.

Discover counselling and support at the Hospice

Learn more

Access our Care

Discover the care and support we offer

Access our Care and Support

Fundraise & Get Involved

Our Events

Fundraise for us

Talking openly helps break stigma

Taking the time to listen

There is no right way to grieve

Discover counselling and support at the Hospice